i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
