Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
