i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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