I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
