Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
