This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
