Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize