you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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