addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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