love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
