She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
