Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize