4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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