apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
