Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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