i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
