Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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