Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
