Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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