My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
