Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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