so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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