you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
