I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
