Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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