If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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