we have officially lost it.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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