You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
