Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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