i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
