If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
