): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
