U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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