Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
