there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
