Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
