tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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