Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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