he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
