Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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