I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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