worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize