oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
