Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm sobbing to NWA
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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