If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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