i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize