chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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