Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So vagazzling was a success
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
