PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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