Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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