I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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