Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it's great music for shaving your balls
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
