I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
