super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You can't special order awesome
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize