That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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