U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
