That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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