Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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