im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
