the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
