i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
