you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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