bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
