And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
